Category Archives: life

[20170228.1 X Japan @ London 2017 ~ We Are X Premiere]

[20170228©winnieup.WeAreXPoster@FinsburyPark@London.UK]

Although taking the London Underground was not something new to me, when I saw the poster of the film We Are X on the walls of the tube station, I could not help but shooting tons of photographs of and with them. I did not count exactly how many stations in which this sheet of ad was advertised, but basically this ad appeared to all of the the tube stations I stepped in.

[20170228©winnieup.WeAreXPoster@KingsCrossTube@London]

In order to welcome the great day of possibly meeting Yoshiki and the director Stephen Kijak in person in a short distance at the film’s Premiere in London, as early as I could, I went to check out the Picturehouse Central location at Piccadilly Circus in London.  It was arranged that there would be Premiere of the film We Are X followed by a Q&A session with them.

I arrived at the venue three hours in advance. The Picturehouse Central is situated in London’s 19th-century, Grade II-listed Trocadero building. It is gorgeous inside and out, housing a coffee shop on the first floor and a cafe on the second, where the screens on the third floor and up.  Visiting this building could be of a relaxing and rewarding tour itself.

Immediately after entering the Picturehouse, an enormous red staircase captured my eyes. The red tiles shined all over the floor. Above the colorful staircase, countless number of light bulbs were hanging down from the ceiling irregularly. The red staircase served as the “Red Carpet” and I was told that anyone who comes in must walk through and up on the red staircase before he/she could reach the upper floors for press conference, reception party, and to any of the screens for the films.  I found a coffee table upstairs for myself and planned to spend the time before the film premiere enjoying my afternoon cake there on top of the red staircase. That must be the best spot to watch Yoshiki walk up, I thought.

After half way through my cake, unexpected I was asked to move away from the coffee table – the best spot to catch Yoshiki. The staff needed to reshuffle the seats and tables for better layout for the film premiere.  Disappointedly, I rushed to finish my cake and left my seat. At the same time, I started seeing people coming in with professional cameras, flowers, and gifts. The Picturehouse was filled with excitement, press, fans, and my heartbeat.

Suddenly, a familiar face appeared in front of me and this was the director. “Stephen,” I said to him. I thanked him for tweeting my previous article about the We Are X film. His reaction told me that he did not know me and was surprised to hear me talking to him while he was expecting someone whom he knew to escort him to the press conference area, which was held at the cafe on the second floor.

Unfortunately the responsible person did not show up on time to welcome this VIP. Poor Mr. Director was stuck at the entrance with a security guard blocking his way.  I tried to convinced the security guard that Stephen is indeed the director of the film and he should let him in. The guard insisted that without any proof he would not believe that Stephen was the director, and therefore could not let him in.

I, knowing what was going on for the past few hours, decided to help this stranger out. Several minutes later, I helped him find the organizer whom I met earlier in the cafe, and eventually the director found a way to go… Stephen was so pleased that I found him the right person so he could gain access to the press conference.  Before he entered the prohibited area, he gave me a big “thank you” by accepting my request and gladly took a selfie with me.[20170228©winnieup.StephenKijak@WeAreXPremiere.London]

It was indeed an honor to have the director tweeted my article ~ [http://winnieup.com/20170214-my-valentine-we-are-x/] and quite an interesting experience for me to be able to help and take selfie with the director. Such an incident made me feel fabulous.

It was a quarter till six o’clock, and my heart was beating faster and faster as the time went by.  Yoshiki was still nowhere to be found.  According to his Facebook, his arrival time was 6:00pm. It was a long lasting 15 minutes.  Just as what I would usually do, I walked around and talked to strangers, staff, and random people. A superstar like Yoshiki would always be late rather than being early or on time. That was what I had in my mind.

Life is, as presented in the We Are X film, unexpected, unpredictable, interesting, beautiful, and full of surprises.

While I was walking down the staircase trying to chat with the staff again, screaming noise came from the entrance. Before I could realize and react, a gorgeous gentleman with his beautiful face behind Ray-Ban sunglasses inside a red-and-black velvet long jacket appeared in front of me from virtually nowhere. “YOSHIKI” was the only word that leaked out from my month, and the only action I was able to take was to insert my right hand into my right pocket and got my iPhone out from it to shoot a photo of this smiling-and-walking-quietly-but-quickly celebrity within a nano-second  of time.
[20170228©winnieup.YoshikiArriving@WeAreX.Premiere.London]

I also carried a Nikon camera my father lent me and at that time the Nikon camera had zero efficiency and played no role to the event since my brain and arms were too slow to react. Several pounds of weight that was hanging around my neck made no sense to me at this particular moment.

Finally, this image was the only photo of Yoshiki I took with my iPhone before the Premiere, while I spent all afternoon strategically figuring out how to get the best angle and take the greatest shots of him with my Nikon camera.

Life is out of control most of the time, so is the camera sometimes.

Copyright © 2017 winnieup. All Rights Reserved.

[20170225 X Japan @ London 2017 ~ Prelude]

[20170225©winnieup.TripToLondon@HongKong]

London.  My favorite city – amongst the cities I have visited so far in my life in the past x years.

In December 2016, I bumped into a film, “We Are X”, that “changed my perspective to life, changed my attitude to life, and changed my approach toward life.” ~ [http://winnieup.com/20170214-my-valentine-we-are-x/]  After my first encounter with X Japan introduced by the “We Are X” film on 18 December 2017, I kept going to the cinemas in Hong Kong and watched it for 5 more times. I keep doubting myself why this film did not win any awards from the Oscars (Academy Awards).  It is a shame that an awesome film like this would not be recognized for its outstanding quality.  Due to the superb quality that rarely exists in a film, I urge myself to watch it as long as it is shown in the cinema.  After the Hong Kong “special screening”, it was being shown in the “Picture Houses” in London.  I therefore watched it 3 more times in the Pictures Houses in London, and then 1 more time on a larger-than-IMAX-screen at the X Japan concert in the Wembley Arena in London a few months later.

In between, it happened that the “YOSHIKI Classical Special with Orchestra – HONG KONG” was held on 29 December 2017 in Hong Kong.  Something pathetic happened to the concert – it was nearly being cancelled.  Nevertheless, the way Yoshiki handled the situation regarding the concert matter, his reaction to what had happened, and how he treated the people who supposed to be responsible for the issue drew my attention to his personal characteristic and made me respect and appreciate him more as a human being in addition to my admiration for him being a talented musician.

I started listening to Yoshiki’s classical music, orchestral music as well as his heavy metal, hard rock, and punk music (whatever people categorize him/his band) he created for his band X Japan.  In fact, he also composed the orchestral versions for the X Japan songs and released albums for them.  The crossover between the classical and the band sounds by Yoshiki embarked such a magical effect that keeps the audience listen to their songs again and again because the songs cover wide variety of music elements on top of the already breathtaking melody and the poetlike lyrics.

After discovering the drum playing style and the piano playing skills, I understand why people could be inextricably attracted to Yoshiki. His drum playing is not only of a high-level skills presentation, that is extremely fast, precise and rhythmic, but also blends in with his body and soul.  His piano playing is not only special and sophisticated, but also a display of passion, expression, and emotion.  His playing is more than an eye-pleasing performance, it is like striving to intrude his passion and life into his audience’s heart, mind, and soul.

The more I watch X Japan’s live concert with my computer on the internet, the more I want to watch them live with my naked eyes on real stage.

Then, I heard that X Japan had planned to have a concert in my favorite city – London in March 2017.  Seriously I told myself, that I have to seize the chance to watch them.  I am not allowing myself to regret again after not listening to their music for the past 35 years and missing all of their concerts throughout the past years.  I am convinced that attending and participating a live concert of X Japan is one of the must-do things in life.

My original plan was to fly to catch the X Japan concert on the day of arrival and then spend the rest of the week traveling in London. But a wise friend of mine suggested me to swap my plan – to tour around town first, and save the best for last.  At the end, I cannot thank my friend enough, that his wisdom created the opportunity for me to see Yoshiki and met the director Stephen Kijak in person during “We Are X” Film London Premiere and the Q&A session.  My friend’s advice also led me to meet the full band of X Japan (Yoshiki, Toshl, Pata, Heath, and Sugizo) during their first-in-twenty-year’s signing event at HMV in London on the day of release of the “We are X” Soundtrack CD.

In the night of 25 February 2017, “after having lost the precious time of the past years not enjoying the best music possible found on earth“, I headed to my favorite city to see The First Live concert of my favorite band in my life.

Copyright © 2017 winnieup. All Rights Reserved.

[20170214 ~ My Valentine: “We Are X”]

20170214_WeAreX

[20161218©winnieup. WeAreXFilm@Broadway.TheOne.TST.HK]

Before I watched the film, “We Are X”, I did not know how big X Japan was, nor do I know who Yoshiki is.

One day in December 2016, I was about to watch another movie at a cinema in Hong Kong.  A word “SOLD OUT” on one of the TV screens at the ticket counter area caught my attention. I got curious and found out that it was showing the status of the Special Screening of the film “We Are X”.

The poster of the film showed a drummer standing on top of the drum-set, and the description stated that it was a film about the band, X Japan.  X Japan, I remember seeing their vinyl album cover back in the 80s, they were heavy metal rock band from Japan.  That was all I knew about the film and the band. I did not know anything about Yoshiki.

Since I started learning drums recently, I thought watching it could be of something interesting. Out of curiosity, I bought myself the last ticket left of the next show. As such, I bumped into this film by total accident.

An accident that changed my perspective to life, changed my attitude to life, and changed my approach toward life.

People say that they watch this movie because of X Japan, or because of Yoshiki. To the entire opposite, I watch it because I know absolutely nothing at all about X Japan nor have I heard any songs being composed, performed, arranged, played, or produced by its bandleader, Yoshiki.

Yet, after watching the film, I keep watching the film.  After start listening to X Japan and Yoshiki’s music, I cannot stop listening to their music.

Now, I have a strong feeling that I have wasted the past 35 years of my life NOT listening to X Japan and Yoshiki’s songs. I feel that I have lost the precious time of the past years not enjoying the best music possible found on earth. I regretted genuinely not knowing Yoshiki earlier for the admiration of his skills of drum playing; for the discovery of cross-boundary mix of classical and rock music; plus, for the appreciation of his passion and dedication for music and piano playing so I could be practicing piano more persistently when I was a little kid.

The excitement, brings to me from a film, is that I do not know what is going on and what might appear next on the big screen. I like surprise. The fact that I know completely nothing (but their name) about X Japan brought me mind-blowing experience watching this film. I was in shock, during and after, watching this film.

Although the film appears to be presented in piecemeal format and a timeline not too easy to follow, I find it inescapably represents what it is trying to talk about: Life.  Life, as a matter of fact, is always unexpected, out of order, and fragmented; things in life could happen quite suddenly and abruptly, often similar to this manner. The way the director edits the film might have messed up the logical mindset of the audience, yet indeed it fits the mood and rhythm of the film, and sets precisely what the mode should be for this piece of documentary, ambitiously saying that life is not logical.

Life is never predictable. Unexpected incidents happen all the time. Speaking of which, due to this “total accident” bumping into this film, I submersed myself into one of the best, breathe-taking, eye-opening, and undoubtedly enjoyable moments of my life – watching the film, We Are X.

Just like a song has an intro and outro, the movie also starts and ends with gorgeous images along with beautiful music of X Japan and Yoshiki’s. The film brilliantly presents the heart of the history of X Japan with the (relatively new, 2011) song  “Jade” at the beginning of the film.  The intro is so attractive that blocks everything else away from my mind, and drives me deeply into the abyss of the film.

Usually, documentary films discuss or disclose about a story. Yet, We Are X engages a story rather than displaying it to its audience. On one hand, someone like me, who knew nothing about the band, have been educated by the film about the rich history of X Japan; at the same time, I overwhelmingly felt and experienced the successfulness and the painfulness that they had gone through throughout the years with them via the film. After a stream of dramatic yet realistic facts being presented in front of the audience, the film ends with the concert of the reunited X Japan, along with the their stunning new theme song of the film “La Venus”.

By opening with the still images of the original members of X Japan with “Jade” as the background music, and ending with the motion video of the reunited X Japan with “La Venus” plus many other mind-blowing songs of X Japan revealing the bittersweet story of the members in between. “We Are X” is not only an entertaining and documenting film, but also a brilliantly made memorable masterpiece.

No matter how many times I watch the movie, it never seems enough. The film “We are X” is not only about “death and life of X Japan”, as quoted in the flyers, it is also about everything in between: love, friendship, family, fame, depression, self-saving, self-destroying, pioneering, rebellious, innovation, boldness, pride, jealousy, selfishness, success, failure, happiness, tragedy, leadership, conflicts, lost, gain, hope, hopelessness, hatred, give-up, pain, decency, culture, society, norm, ignorance, art, music, broke-up, reunited, memory, dreams, and human being.

Life, as sophisticated as X Japan’s, can be elegant, tasteful, painful, and altogether, beautiful. In addition to its unpredictable and surprising nature, when you look back, you can still feel the abundance of it.  Although painful memories must be part of it, life can still bring you light and strength as long as you can find a way to “co-exist with the pains” (quoted from Yoshiki).

Watching “We Are X” is incomparable with watching any other film I have ever seen. Surrounded by extreme darkness, sitting in front of a huge screen, enjoying a splendid film, listening to the impressive music, glancing over the stunning images, and going through the overwhelming, dramatic, and outraging history of X Japan and Yoshiki, I feel like I am not merely watching a film, but also going through life and death and everything in between together with them, in tears and through my heart, all within 93 minutes of time.

Eventually, as of the issue date of this article, I have watched it in the cinema for six times. If it keeps being shown in the cinema, I will keep watching it again and again. Every time I watch it, it seems like layers of life of X Japan being peeled off, and different levels of fruitful yet unpredictable thunders being poured out for the audience to taste; for the eyes, for the ears, for the mind, and for the heart to grasp and absorb. I can keep watching it, and keep discovering how the director “Introducing X Japan…Japan…Japan…!

Copyright © 2017 winnieup. All Rights Reserved.

[20160808 – 是時候想念]

20160808_是時候想念

日月如梭光陰似箭,從從前對妳的痴纏,到到處遊玩不再對妳掛念,有一段時間實在不想與妳有任何牽連。 外面的世界對我來說的而且確太新鮮,而妳的歷史和存在於我已開始厭倦,所有與妳有關係的人物事情物件,我也無心關心無力點算。 東南西北四方八面,總有好奇或好事的人們向我問起妳的一點點,我漸漸,迴避逃避避免,他們的話題中有機會讓妳的名字出現;想否認曾經與妳情牽一線。 是愛得太深恨成反面,還是感情太淺﹖ 我毫無頭緒腦筋混亂,只知對妳的感覺突然消失似煙,感觸消失得這麼突然……

還清楚記得事情發生不太久遠,為了妳的努力我支持不斷,為了妳的成功我喝采難眠。 日復一日掛念,心頭腦際都在渴望妳的出現,整天回味妳令我引以為榮的出眾表現。 祗要聽著看著想著會有妳在的場面,我必定忘返地流連,要控制自己尖叫著的聲線。 我為了妳試過淚光暗閃,經歷過感動場面,感受過哽咽;妳也為了我跨越過許多試煉,付出過犧牲、承受過轉變。 當時我的心仍緊貼妳旁邊,會目不轉睛的盯著妳的臉,愛妳的所有優點及缺點,百分百的接納妳好的和壞的各方面……

捱不了多少年,我發覺自己在不擇手段,用盡辦法要將我們間的關係絕緣。 像天下間許多不幸的愛情故事一樣我們的故事沒法子繼續發展,對不起我沒有說對不起或再見,就此了斷。 原因不詳不過解釋也不短,不如不說便算。 總之總在畫清界線,我有我的生活新的打算,理不了妳有甚麼的發展,往甚麼方向盤旋;免不了都不想跟妳有任何糾纏。

不過最近我發覺自己的再次心軟,看著妳又在世人面前,綻放光芒遙遙領先,其他國家都變得失色黯然。 跳水排球羽毛球乒乓球每仗也贏得漂亮必然,離開了我四年的愛國心情突然又重新湧現心田,感動和激動的淚水,再次沾濕我面。

看著紅色五星旗緩緩升起國歌飄耳邊,也許是時候想念。 我反覆思考對祖國的情誼竟然是那麼膚淺片面,內疚感佔據著我身體髮膚的每一吋、侵蝕著我辜負了的中國遺傳!

幾年無見,最近點﹖甚念。

Copyright © 2016 winnieup. All Rights Reserved.

[20160404 – 我們的問題和我們的問題]

IMG_4730@20160404

娛樂版八卦週刊報章雜誌訪問,明查暗訪名人藝人;追擊直擊私事私隱。「事不關己己不勞心」~不會印證這些記者編輯身份。未經證實便謠言四起百毒皆浸,各方大眾讀者不知哪裡來的默契極度齊心,眼未看見便以耳為目人云亦云;道聽塗說眾說紛紜信以為真。甚麼也信也信也信得很!繼續跳舞自得其樂繼續追尋。

他信張三李四擺酒結婚,新郎英俊瀟洒新娘明艷照人,大家裝身扮靚去飲,明餽贈禮品、暗祝福新人;願他倆白頭偕老年生貴子美滿婚姻;卻不相信曾經有亞當夏娃這對歷史中的戀人。經年後見嬰孩出生,又會向新婚夫婦不停恭喜追問、不斷舉杯痛飲;流露滿腔興奮、滲著喜慶萬分⋯卻從不理會為什麼會出現小生命的靈魂,會是誰掌管命運?

她甚具智慧與科學精神,對學科無奇不問,對學術努力追尋,不懈地充實自己的學問,問實驗的過程原因;深入地探討哲學心理經濟管理工程各行各業各範疇各階層,反覆研究到底先有雞還是先有蛋的各樣印證及可能;卻對宇宙太空的出現不聞不問,不探究創造天地是誰人;是先有人?是先有神?還是先有大爆炸大地震?她大概相信猿猴變猿人、海浪變海參、灰塵變米粉!

聖經中馬太馬可路加約翰四福音,向世人訴說主耶穌降世救人;交代基督在世一生,捨寶血為贖罪人;若肯相信便得永生,只要簡單地首肯。但千古萬世以來的云云眾生,還是固執不信不信不信不肯!繼續冥頑不靈固步自封引火自焚。

對無關痛癢於己無益的閒人逸事我們究底尋根,對息息相關切膚之痛的信仰問題我們不暇分身,來不及發問,起不了疑心,便成了過眼煙雲!畢竟不能不算不幸!

Copyright © 2016 winnieup. All Rights Reserved.

[20160401 – 愚人節]

IMG_4568@20160401

告訴你一則歷史故事。

有這樣的一個女子,剛掏盡所有身家銀紙,以及未來的五年血汗換來這福士;感覺與一般新任車主無異,不敵於一剎那身份特殊;興奮難平只想晝夜高速飛馳,挑戰斜率不停朝夕低波嘗試。然而,當她減速至三十哩時,卻聽見異常聲音來自天窗方向約略與風扇所發聲音相似;心頭於是開始猶豫,怕這新車子,機件出了甚麼事;腦袋立時忐忑不已,想不如將車駛回代理公司?便當真即時,找著他們討論修理事宜。她留下鑰匙,回家等通知,一等便三小時。忙碌但盡責而友善的服務員試車後不忍取笑她無知,又不想迂迴曲折兜圈子,惟有照直向她告知:車子及機件相安無事,他們毋需轉動一口鏍絲。那聲音的而且確與風扇所發聲音相似:因為那是在時速三十哩時,有風穿越天窗所致。檢查報告指一切運作如常操作自如有如簇新車子~哦, 原來如此!

她放下心頭大石後拉下倘大窗子, 讓疾風吹著她無限愜意, 顧著開心便忘記甚麼是「何需掛齒」,不怕陽光離異,不覺陰雲蔽虧凌厲時雨將至⋯⋯過了很多個一會兒, 她決定將旅程稍為停止,回家做點事。怎知,翌日起來大件事!她延續著昨日情痴,又再事不宜遲,大清早起來便拔腿飛身撲向軑盤位置;卻發現沒有關那倘大的窗子!才醒悟昨晚離車時,抽身頓走關門了事!她欲哭無淚痛心疾首後悔不已;目瞪口呆望著濕透了的地毯酸透了鼻子。她熬了一整小時,花盡了心思、用吸水機吸盡所有水份子。她照盡了鏡子、費盡了唇舌向自己訓辭:不可不可不可再有下次!

她小心翼翼平穩過渡了三百六十五日次,認為那已是滑鐵盧一役元氣已大傷不會再魯莽大意。心疼心愛車子,水深似水塘樣子!故從此以後每次泊車時,不得不特別留意,定必保證左邊門窗已牢牢關上令空氣無隙可乘雨水無計可施。今次, 她正在品嚐著西雅圖咖啡安躺在柔軟梳化椅、聽雷電交加看細雨絲絲、追憶著剛才泊車時的動作舉止。在另一次閃電時她心頭卻突然閃過一陣寒意:想到沿路曾嫌天氣翳悶風不過耳,便順手牽開了天窗容空氣流通避免與車內的侷促對峙……想起來好像是這麼一回事~噢!又再來一次,可憐福士又讓洪水淹至!唉,真不濟事!

朋友同情憐憫之餘也無可奈何只可以笑置之;我,這女子,勸自己切勿重蹈覆轍切記重門深鎖徹底慎而重之之同時,也只好銘記這幾節娛人的愚人故事!

Copyright © 2016 winnieup. All Rights Reserved.

[20160327 – 復活節]

IMG_4518@20160327

今年的復活節去不成日本長野附近、一處叫白馬的地方滑雪旅行~其實早於數週前的三月頭已跟朋友同行,於這山頭滑雪板滑上了癮,一直有顆「趁四個紅日再過白色假期」的野心。可惜我的野心,始終不敵於假期時份、機票價格格鬥的天昏地暗,令我這個正常人,覺得付兩倍以上的機票價錢怎說也心有不甘、一個月內二遊日本似乎也有些過份。結果我選擇了重動腦筋、轉載覆述 n 年前發生於我身上一些有關「復活」的幾節逸事趣聞。

***

在福士車主朋友苦口婆心叮囑忠告警告我我不領好心,似已立心決心放心買下我第一部Volkswagon。 不過我其實優柔寡斷滿腦疑心,不時借故向他質問,問甚麼令他對這德國牌子車子缺乏信心?有若干證據有多少確鑿有幾許推成份?危險程度又是否媲美RX Seven?抑或原是由於此車廠名堂太響面目可憎?朋友見好言相勸軟硬兼施仍贏不了我對他絲毫信心,祗剩我滿口疑問,和剔不掉的一些笨;他便坦言相向告訴我知他不知這車子何時有毛病發生,只知毛病有隨時發生的可能⋯⋯這便是問題的根。我勉強附和了他毋寧兩可的答問,不好意思徒添他對其車子頻壞的怨恨、不好挑起他的不忿,不好氣氛。

結果我還是動了手動了筆桿動了身,接受了貸款承受了代步的方便享受了可以隨意到處兜風旅行:身體力行,體現了做車主的身份。怎料某天我的 GTI 無緣無故竟亮不了車尾燈,我才隱約記起我好友的教訓:『不知這車子何時有毛病發生,只知毛病有隨時發生的可能⋯⋯』 但我向自己解釋說:『三年時間已過利刀也會鈍了刃, 何況燈泡壽命完結並非沒可能。』 我以繁忙為藉口以節儉為理由地掏了三個月也掏不出金錢時間換這盞小燈,由它暗自昏暗!~然而可幸也可恨:這車尾燈卻在沒帶任何外力挿手下無端復原再次亮燈,減了我的費心增了我的趣聞!

***

這邊廂我在慶幸,那邊廂看著油價急升使我落魄失魂。 我見油費和郵費不停穩步上揚逐日激增,不禁黯然自家與各界升斗市民,分分秒秒惶惶人心。那天我入油後顧著抱怨石油出口商人及政府官員的忍心,任油價高昇企穩;顧不著入油程序怎樣履行,便怒氣沖沖的驅車開行,如常到自動洗車機器把車子清潔同時讓自己的悶氣洗滌壓沉。可惜被壓沉了的怒氣在稍後卻又再暴漲奔騰,半小時車程完畢後我才發現油缸蓋子不翼而飛油缸小門不曾關緊,才回憶起剛才洗車時有高壓猛水狂噴,我便眉頭一皺心頭一緊,想像著油缸內被高壓注入滿污水泥塵;唉~嗚呼哀哉車子的油缸蓋丟了又有油缸入水之可能,心頭頃刻密佈慘霧愁雲。我抱著一點憤怨和半點希望趕回油站附近,四處張目掃看不住向人探問,祈望會遇上有心人,會在路上拾遺拾起蓋子拾回我車子完整的存在感! ~然而耐心換開心:最終竟讓我發現它安躺在洗車場內又幾經沖洗浸,反弄得乾淨俐落油漬去盡煥然一新!

***

當我正在公司與同事分享這罕有福份,和分析時局論油價飛漲局勢不穩⋯卻不知何時潛入了賊仔竟超音速地完成了偷竊暴行:在我離開工作桌子不過數分鐘之時間內進行。我在沒任何線索毫無頭緒破案無門之時只有於心不忍、對身邊所有同事大起疑心、對各界築起防線小心慬慎。銀行向我透露說賊人已運用了我的信用卡動用了銀行資金,地點是某油站時間是早上十一時零七分。我欲藉此蛛絲馬跡陌路追尋,奢望會查出真相實情找出真兇是誰人。我報失報警落案望歹徒報應落網將所偷銀包回贈,可是這當然是妙想天開沒甚可能;警察又視之為瑣碎小事說損失不過幾元美金,幹嗎如此著緊?!我唯有對警方失望死心, 對賊方懷恨在心, 對己方深表遺憾。

一百個失落的小時內我無援地等,一面思考著失蹤錢包內我珍貴照片和「士啤」車匙的命運;一千萬樣破案的途徑與可能,一直縈繞心坎,一度天昏地暗!~然而好消息替代好消沉:有不知名好心人留言在電話錄音,告知某天他路過高速公路恰遇交通意外發生,便停車幫忙救人。他剛踏上路旁草坪便見我的信用卡身份証給灑得遍地繽紛!我取回了他拾獲的部分被偷物品,卻發現沒有照片及車匙的份,心頭仍有不甘,便即時趕往事發現場自己派自己展開地毯式搜尋,看看經過雷雨強風的數天後還有否奇蹟發生?結果是『皇天不負有心人』或是『祈禱蒙天父應允』?~在野花叢中珍貴照片被重尋、在雜草堆中「士啤」車匙獲重生!

***

Copyright © 2016 winnieup. All Rights Reserved.

[20160101 – 二千年前後]

150502 Outfit@20160101

徐夕前夕。

是時候向舊居告別,朋友們不請自來毛遂自薦自動請纓為我執拾衣物枕蓆,他們全心全意熱心積極,替我從與對座大廈面面相覷搬到與天空相接景色無敵。由於新居與舊居是一模樣的格式,我們便以史無前例異於尋常的搬遷形式,用以物易物方法將原屋物品遷回相同地域︰書桌仍舊伴窗色,桌下的位置照樣是電視機的領域,收音機錄影機與鐳射唱片及黑膠唱片平分客廳春色;珍藏的日本萬人迷封面雜誌與日本劇集不明來歷,躺在床邊引人閱歷。書架和相簿櫃載著相架和書籍,依然貼附在衣櫥旁的牆璧,繼續奢望滿牆玻璃架內的木村拓哉不再好色。廚具刀叉碗碟移居後如常完整淅瀝,浴室抽屜整個被換了到新居也不著痕跡。四百呎的調動只需大家三言兩語間一小時半的努力,我五體投地目瞪口呆無言感激!

除夕。

我應德薩斯州傳播媒介呼籲早已購備蒸餾水及罐頭食品以供飲食,怕遇謠傳中般喪失水源電力;又恐懼於一切關於電腦千年蟲的大道小道消息。還千里迢迢屢勸在港的家人儲備糧食以防止可能的可怖經歷;卻反被他們有恃無恐地取笑說港人早習慣停水停電毋須多此一舉免周旋轉折於市場一役。我身不在港只隔岸觀火卻有心無力。惟自己堅持以身作則以防萬一以策萬全一般見識,提前在午夜前回家歇息。猶幸當時分秒針重疊時電腦沒有上演搗蛋角色,一切運作如常一面如虎添翼。我在抱怨首次在家倒數後悔沒有參加派對之際發現新居露台竟可看到市中心煙花盛況五光十色。電視新聞報告美國為了千年蟲問題斥資共超過二億美元及數年的朝夕,大家便又談論是否用得其所物有所值。我一邊疑惑地想不知是有驚無險還是化險為夷地過渡了的廿一世紀晚空點滴,一邊凝神地欣賞燦爛歸於平淡後的靜夜鴉雀無聲萬籟俱寂…

元旦朝夕。

大清早起來朝暉與高漲的心情充斥,便到傳統的美國餐廳享用煎蛋和班戟,然後到公園踱步觀湖光山色不過因為德薩斯州地勢平坦故湖成了溪山變了草蓆。晚上與三五知己喫大餐開香檳談願望賞月色。不錯吧、這世紀末顏色!

Copyright © 2000, 2016 winnieup. All Rights Reserved.

[20151212 – 今天應該很高興]

150430 Outfit@20151212

因為天上有顆明星,藉著東方博士牧羊人及莊嚴的聖經,告訴我們關於耶穌降生救世的美麗事情。故事中的黃金乳香沒藥是禮物予聖嬰,聖嬰的一生是禮物予凡人的生命,十字架中的犧牲成了永恆的保證;一切發生於二千多年前的伯利恆城⋯

小時候的聖誕節父母拖著袓母、我和弟弟幾口人丁,常為燦爛的燈飾助興、為尖東的熱鬧做証。他們買新衣買禮物買車票買到我們三姐弟對家人心傾;又用卷曲的七色縐紙配客廳燈旁的水晶;以塑膠但安全的聖誕樹作背景;令四百呎的屋子內滿室佈景、滿塞喜慶。

長大了的聖誕節與知己 C 及 F 出沒中環拍照片賞夜景,扶植了友誼的根鞏固了友情的莖;我們一起擁有很多的曾經、擁抱很遠的憧憬、湧進很美的夢境。夜了靜了便了無牽掛徹夜交換理想心願互訴各自各愛情。當 C 在英國期間我與 F 為她牽腸掛肚擔心她獨個長征;到 F 在加拿大時 C 回來了便與我寄望著 F 的回程;而我在美國了便剩下 C 在香港為她溺愛的工作疲於奔命、賸下 F 在加國為她嚮往的生活繼續安定。

有一段日子我鑽進了另一批朋友的聖誕邀請,鑽入了蘭桂芳夜景,那裡有許多外語人聲。我的身邊籠罩朋友及酒精,以及流連街頭的意興。一班馬路天使憤世嫉俗身穿黑衣倚恃年青。有人會趁機訴說他們手中的香煙不襯他們的清醒,又會指責吸煙是壞份子的劣質印證、學頹廢扮型。他們會反擊之將一切加以否定,辯駁香煙是飯後神仙靈感來源並非身份象徵;而我便是這個人不時掃他們的興。不過大家又會同聲同氣同踏過金鐘灣仔銅鑼灣的漫長路程,然後再停在海旁同看日出靜待黎明。

來了美國後我的聖誕沒有了海旁燈影,只有廣漠浩大夜空滿天星。燈泡從香港的樹葉中轉了位置纏住了美國的樹莖。街道上排列著只圍繞樹莖的燈飾照依稀疏落的人影,與香港斑駁擁擠的人群風景,成趣相映!我回想起多年來回香港及某年往市郊宿營;到拉斯維加斯加州加倫敦及愛丁堡浪漫旅程;有年又遊亞特蘭大和邁亞美參與狄士尼樂園週年誌慶;到洛杉磯看荷李活電影;以及到克林頓總統故鄉阿根索州浸溫泉看公路旁的積雪及溶冰⋯

習慣每到聖誕便到別城看異地的陌生人物事情,今年卻因諸多制肘羈絆牽繫拔不了腿出不了城。計劃中有逛畫廊的雋永、去奧斯汀市看心儀的人的一雙眼睛、以及往奧克拉河馬州找德薩斯州罕有的山嶺。又計劃著收心養性收拾心情, 將書債相債還清,然後籌算經濟前景事業前程;再把微型電腦照相機嶄新科技輸入腦細胞腦神經 –– 我為這幾日假期將腦汁耗光搾淨,而結果只成就了其中的畫廊雋永,餘下的節目被我魚與熊掌左右為難舉棋不定,終於成不了事忘不了形!當下積滿抑鬱心情,想怎麼聖誕節會如此光景,滯留於平淡的達拉斯城……

慶幸平安夜被朋友邀約到她家中盡興;穿插在蜜汁火腿雜果沙律雞翼香腸意粉雪糕和轟天笑聲,雖在不習慣地逗留侷促於城內的情況下體驗著大幅的關注與溫馨,心頭又充斥著這些那些甜美回憶歌舞昇平,我今天應該很高興!

Copyright © 2015 winnieup. All Rights Reserved.

[20151111 – 有校日期]

150424 Outfit@20151111

突然間,在懷舊一番,想起我在美國德州大學時代的空間時間:

本來是播著坂本龍一的「音樂圖鑑」,但忽然想起達明一派「今夜星光燦爛」,便伸手一碰CD機之開關,同時又瞥見 Japan 封套上化了濃粧的一雙眼 –– 掩映著濃得化不開的夜晚 ; 教我忍不住又將另一批時間空間,在大衛保兒的 “Heroes” 後吞噬在 Japan 的「禁色」與「廣東少年」之間。之後會是 Pet Shop Boys 或 Depeche Mode 的英倫電子浪漫,也許是 Beatles 的 「萬花筒眼」。餘下的四分一晚,瓜分給夢劇院的「四分三日」及軟硬天師的「車欠石更」。

是兩房兩廳六百呎不時擱著這些音樂的房間,偶會有朋友為我煮湯做飯。四年德州大學裡平均只有三小時的睡眠時間,沒半刻空閒。住在這屋常常有甚可談:因為那已是二三十年舊樓又被風雨浸蝕慣,屋子長期水漬斑斑,補了又補但雷電交加之際還是有水漏自天花板。而且又因所在地土質疏軟鬆散,致令此建築物大可繼承比薩斜塔的衣缽有前車可鑑 ; 大概應被列入危樓一類的清單。若將罐頭放在餐桌上它會自動朝一邊滾下便可將屋子傾斜的結論証實一番。不過貪著一望無際的景色及日出時的裂紅和日落時的浮紫便捨不得搬離這危樓房間。

每天坐大學免費校巴於收音機廣播中往返,有友善司機招呼冷氣暖氣供應笑臉同學相迎沒有冷硬座椅木板。我在校巴中習慣了短暫的聚散、在心中聚滿了習慣的短暫。每天洶湧而至排山倒海撲面襲來的功課考試為我減了積蓄添了學位增了精神負擔 ; 廿四小時開放的電腦室及圖書館提供予我們方便與麻煩 – 隨時隨地溫習作業的方便、不忍不分秒必爭流連於還在開放的地方的麻煩! 我和應著這方便與麻煩,捧著心愛的cd和深奧的書本於深夜一時開始心猿意馬心情懶散。在這無休止開放的電腦室人聲嘈雜人才濟濟人山人海的空間,低垂的夜幕伴著低垂的眼簾看錶面蠕動的時間 ; 耳筒貼附在耳朵播著阪本龍一的”音樂圖鑑” ; 我又忽然想起達明一派今夜星光燦爛……便下手打我土木工程學一星期一次的實驗佈告第一版….

傳說間,香港以外的讀書生活呆滯休閒、外國生活枯燥刻板。這傳說粉碎了我欲逃脫緊張繁忙節奏的夢幻,換來不知多少個讀至通宵達旦緊湊不堪的無眠夜晚!

Copyright © 2015 winnieup. All Rights Reserved.